Our daughter’s horse has been lame since November 2007 so he had to be taped off with an electric tape from the other geldings. Sounds simple enough. Every day we have had to muck out his taped area, take hay to him and fill up his trough by carting water between the three of us from another trough a good fifty metres away.

Bearing in mind we have been experiencing a drought since December 2007, we have to keep shifting the taped area to ensure he isnt just left with dry dust. The heat is horrendous, hitting between 27 & 31 degrees most days, and tending to all the water carrying and mucking out etc , our usually laid back crew are sweating and sniping at each other along the way.  No matter how late we leave it, it is still hot.  Add to that the times I have electrocuted myself because I have brushed against the tape – who needs a pace-maker, I just get my heart jump started visiting the nag!! On the positive side, these shocks may be what is keeping my mood boyant during the following day – or it could just be the haven of the airconditioning at work.  

Well at the outset we had to invest in fencing ’standards’ to hold the tape, the tape (a reel of about 100 metres), a portable trough and trailer loads of hay bales. We accepted that these were good investmenst because there would come a time when we would need to learn how to set them up etc, and if looked after they were to be a sort of “one off” investment (along with all the other “one off expenses a horse requires). 

Of course, there werent enough standards or tape to make sure that while he was mowing through the first area tapen off, there would be another area set apart from the other horses, just waiting for him to move into. So off we go again and bought another lot of the standards and tape – this time the comments were more negative than positive, the added cost to the already growing vet calls (10 minutes total to come and feel the swollen area, watch the horse trot around, pronounce it is tender and swollen, advise that the horse needs more rest from any riding – then leave), not to mention dinner having to be late at night because we were spending so much time mucking around (pardon the pun) with the darn nag. 

Having never been taped off before there was some anxiety about how he would cope, would he try to bolt through or jump over the tape, of which we had heard similar tales from other owners who had had to separate their horse from the pack (sorry “herd”). Well he took to it like a duck to water and quite honestly I think he prefers it.

He has room service every day, while the other horses have to walk and eat around their own manure, ours just moves aside and watches languidly as we scrape up his doings.

He gets fresh hay twice daily and the others are having to forage for what is left of the now brown grass.

He gets a fortnightly visit from Florence Nightingale who whispers sweet nothings in his ear and assures us that he’s not faking it (which is my theory - I think its just attention seeking and he doesnt want to have to be worked at all through the summer).

He doesnt have to fight for room or for any of his food as it is all delivered, if he decides to leave some of his hay, he can without worrying about other horses eating it.

He has a “knowing” look that my daughter doesnt notice but what I believe is that seen on the face of a con-artist. I mention ‘glue’ around him just to let him know Im on to him!!

Anyway, Im now thinking he should be renamed to ‘Masport’ to reflect the fact that he has mowed through thousands of dollars in the last year and half that we have had him, and warn anyone that sees the glint in the eye of their child when they see a horse, to just hand over a lump sum of cash to them and say go spend it, because any amount is going to be far less than what you would spend on a nag. 

 Another word of warning, there are some “interesting” personalities shall we say in the horsey world so be warned. Your not dealing with the average rational person!  

I have seen from the side-line of a ribbon day competition the same sort of behaviour that is despised in the world of soccer hooliganism and beauty pagents i.e.  parents who loose the plot about the “pleasure factor”, and it is not nice. For example:

#Parents shouting at their child rider to “get in closer” meaning ride so close to  the judge so that they are nearly knocked over - the parent thinks the judge will get a better view of the kid,

#Hails from parent for the child to “smile damn you” as the kid stears their mount while cantoring around the ring

Having said this there are those rewarding moments when those riders just chuck in the towel so to speak and leave ”mommy/daddy dearest” fuming on the sideline because they have trotted out of the ring turning their embarrassed back on their parents.

As for me, well I would gladly swap this “pleasure” and have my daughter take up synchronised swimming or extreme chess, if I could. Unfortunately she is hooked, and while she mainly rides for pleasure, she loves working (whenever he doesnt have a “note” from his vet his excuse for not being able to work) with him in practicing the dressage etc.   This brings me to another horrible fact about the history of dressage – that dressage came about from the training of horses for battle, and certain moves were designed so that the rider during battle could trample the enemy on the ground!!! How “cute” is that? 

The bottom line is we may just as well just have all our salary direct credited to an account in the horses name! 

So much for social therapists concerned about families not spending time together – this isolation time for the horse (coming up to the third month) has us all out of an evening tending to the equine brat’s needs, together.  It could be worse I suppose. We could live in the Northern Hemisphere and have to be shovelling snow so he can get to his hay or trough.